Christie ( a pseudonym) is a special artiste and by special I mean she has a unique sound, a very different sound. This makes her feel insecure because she doesn't sound like the average celebrated female vocalist out there. We've been working together, basically developing her talent. I recently introduced her to a guitarist in my church to brush up her guitar skills. Apparently this guy is one of the many people that's wrong with the industry. I say so because, just after her first class with him he started making suggestions. Telling her he was what he wasn't in the industry and telling how basically how she has to sell her body to make it in the industry and how if she was willing, he could be her manager. Next day I got a heart-breaking
call from her asking me if it was really possible for her to make it in the industry without compromising.
I personally was faced with/still face the same problem but I overcame and I'm still standing. It is quite difficult for females, especially light-skinned females. Yes, I said it, light-skinned females. There's a stereotype that beautiful light-skinned females are loose and willing to sell their body to get what they want. It isn't unusual for men to offer you services in exchange for sex. But hey, we aren't going to wallow and complain about how life is unfair. We're going to come up with ways to deal with and avoid sexual harassment.
KNOW YOUR WORTH
If you must survive in this industry without having to sell your body, you must know your worth. There are loads of female artistes who have made it without compromising because they know their worth. I always ask myself, why should I sleep with someone to do business with them when I know how much they're going to benefit from the business financially and otherwise. I think I'm actually doing them a favour doing business with them. They should be crawling on all fours thanking God for bringing someone like me their way so I'd be selling myself short to still give them "jara" by sleeping with them. I don't need them to make it. I have God and that is okay for me. If this client doesn't work out, the same God who let our paths cross will send another client my way. It's as simple as that. It may take a long time to get there but I'm ready to walk the narrow road and have the kind of success that makes rich and adds no sorrow. You understand? Know your worth.
KNOW THAT SEX ALONE CANNOT PRODUCE SUCCESS
It is true that some untalented artistes have slept their way to some level of success and that depends on how we define success. It is also true that some talented people have also slept their way to the top. But it is also true that untalented people who sleep their way to the success have to work twice as hard as those who don't to maintain their success. This is quite difficult for them to do which is why a lot of times they end up as one hit wonders. It is also true that talented people who sleep their way to the top still have to work as hard as they should to maintain their success and if we're to be frank about it, we'll all admit that the only thing sustaining them is their talent and hard work. In my opinion, such a person is just giving out free sex. Sex alone cannot produce success.
ARE YOU A GOLDMINE?
A&R executives are constantly looking for a unique talent that can become a global phenomenon. They are looking for the next Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, etc. Do you really think if you were that next big thing, an A&R manager would risk losing you by demanding for sex from you? Don't you know you would be a goldmine to them? Labels would beg you with record deals. Managers would lobby for you. Producers would practically beg to work with you for free. The major reason they would consistently ask to sleep with you is if they don't think you're talented enough or they sense you don't know your value. Matter of fact, if any music executives had sexual relations with you, it'd be so they could control you emotionally because they wouldn't want to lose you to a competitor. You understand now, right? So, like I always ask, are you really meant to be an artiste?
OTHERS HAVE DONE IT BEFORE YOU, YOU TOO CAN
Asa spent over 8 years, I think, pushing her music before she got her break and prior to that time she didn't compromise. She's the most respected female artiste in Nigeria, it's undisputed. She was resilient. True, it's going to be very tough for you but I assure you, you can do it. It'll probably take you a few years longer to get your big break but at least when it comes, you'll still have your self worth intact. Despite the kind of music Beyoncé does and how she dresses on stage, she's still respected; ever wondered why? It's because she never messed up before she married. Her husband was her first. She didn't sleep with anybody before him. So, even in secular entertainment, some women are not compromising. You too can.
WORD GOES AROUND IN THE INDUSTRY
Before you sleep with the first producer, hope you're ready to sleep with the rest? Because, they talk. Once they know you're open to exchanging sex for their services, they'll keep asking for it. In the end they won't respect you. Even those who haven't talked to you before will start giving interviews saying they have been with you. It really can get messy, so, it's best you just avoid the whole situation.
FOCUS AND TRUST IN GOD
If you must survive without compromising, you must have absolute trust in God. Has he promised to make you a global phenomenon? Then you better trust him. Stay focused and before you know it you'll command respect in the industry. Staying focused on God will help strengthen your sense of worth which is really important for you to say no to the temptation to sell yourself short.
You can make it without compromising.
Photo credit: Google.com
Best wishes
Jesam.
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